Grrrr: God & Revenge

Grrr: God & Revenge from Rob Bee on Vimeo.

It was a cold dark night and it was raining hard. I found myself lost on the moors of Scotland. I spotted lights on the hill top and I made for them. After a hard walk I came upon a tavern and I entered. I shook the rain from my coat and went to warm my hands by the open fire. I glanced over to a table in the corner and there sat on old man with a look of worldly wisdom about him. I went to the bar to ask the Landlord for lodgings for the night and then I went to my room to change into dry clothes. When I was refreshed I descended the stairs and went back to the bar for a drink. “Is everything to your liking, Sir?” asked the barman. “Yes thanks.” I replied, “It’s a lovely room.” “You just wait until tomorrow morning, Sir. If the weather’s right it catches the sunrise beautifully.” “I hope to be asleep when the sun rises.” I quipped. I turned to find an empty table and as I did so a man stuck out his foot and sent me sprawling to the floor spilling my pint all down my dry clothes. I must admit that I took exception to the man and I told him so. I left him in no doubt that I would get even then I went to go back to my room to get changed again, but the old man in the corner stopped me as I passed and bade me sit. “Beware.” he said. “You tread a dangerous path.” I sneered, presuming he was talking about the object of my previous rage, but he looked me in the eye and said, “Beware the black rabbit of revenge, Son. Beware the black rabbit of revenge.” Thinking the old man was mad I stood to leave, but he grabbed my jacket sleeve. The look in his eye pleaded with me to stay and so I retook my seat and listened to what he had to say.

A low breeze blew around our ankles as the man spoke and his eyes darted left and right as if trying to find what caused it. His tones became more hushed and more urgent, “I beg you not to seek out the Black Rabbit of Revenge, your life will be forfeit. I was not always a shrivelled up old man sat in a corner, I hope that by telling you my story I can somehow redeem myself.

No doubt you will have heard the stories of the Black Dogs who prowl around the old moors of this country preying on those unfortunate enough to get lost by luring them over the edges of cliffs? Well there is a more unspeakable horror at lose in these parts, and that is the Black Rabbit of Revenge. He stalks those who feel the need for retaliation and makes their lives a living Hell, consuming their waking moments and their dreams until nothing is left but a bitter shell of impotent rage and a migraine. You look at me as though I’m mad Son, but I know of what I speak. I have seen him, I have met the Black Rabbit of Revenge and I was almost broken by him. I know how he works and how he’s beaten.” He drew deeply on his pint before he continued. “You will meet the Black Rabbit of Revenge as you contemplate your damp clothes. You’ll see a movement out of the corner of your eye and you’ll turn to see what it was and find yourself looking at the man who tripped you. The Rabbit won’t let you forget him. And when you leave the room and are no longer in his company the Rabbit will follow you. Every so often at the most unexpected moment you’ll feel a pull at your trouser leg, and you will look down to find the Black Rabbit of Revenge nibbling at your socks and you’ll think of that man. You’ll awake in the middle of the night to hear the Black Rabbit of Revenge running full pelt around your house and you’ll remember your stained shirt. You’ll find where he’s gnawed your furniture and you will know that he similarly gnaws at your soul. And should be foolish enough to listen to him and seek your revenge then he breaks his promise to leave you be, and he becomes your permanent companion. He sleeps on your pillow, eats from your plate, walks in your shadow and tunnels into every pore of your being. You can try to justify your actions and you can pretend that he’s gone, but you’ll know that the rabbit has burrowed into you and made his home. He dozes, eyes half shut, warm and safe inside your mind. Every time he stretches out his legs or yawns you feel him. You know that while you sleep he digs deeper into your soul whilst at the same time he pulls at the heels of your victim in the hope that he too may hear the call of the Black Rabbit of Revenge thus spreading this horror further and sewing seeds of chaos into the fabric of the universe.”

By this time it was obvious that the old man was deeply scarred and deathly serious. His grave note had got me worried. I tried to keep the panic out of my voice, “So how can I beat the Black Rabbit of Revenge before he gets a hold of me?” The old man nodded sagely. “The Black Rabbit is like any other rabbit. Now think, Lad. What don’t rabbits like?” I did my best to stretch my mind back to the rabbit wrangling GCSE that I’d done at school, but it was so long ago. Then something came to me, “Stamping! Rabbits don’t like stamping!” The old man smiled, “That they don’t,” he said. “Stamping is a danger signal but it doesn’t last long. Put on the Boots of Dormancy when the Rabbit shows his face and stamp hard. He’ll know you simply won’t take action soon and he’ll leave you for a short while. He will be back quickly though to remind you of how you have been wronged and he won’t let up until you either take your vengeance or take stronger action against him. Think hard. What could that action be?” I thought back to my school days and all the time I’d spent ignoring lessons; I’d never have thought then that my life would depend on such an unlikely subject as rabbit wrangling. I stood on metaphorical tiptoes to reach as far back in my memory as I could, and I found something. “Rabbits hate being squirted in the face with a water pistol.” I said. “Good,” said the old man. “That’s right. It’s a way of training them and correcting their behaviour. Use the Water Pistol of Forgetting against the Black Rabbit of Revenge and he’ll learn to leave you alone. Then you can begin to forget your vendetta against this man. But be warned, it isn’t a permanent solution. The rabbit can wait forever for your guard to be down and then he will come and remind you and the cycle will begin again.”

“There must be a permanent solution,” I said. “Or am I cursed till the end of time?”

“There is an answer,” the man said. “Think hard. What do rabbits fear above all else?”

“The eagle!” I had remembered!

“That’s right,” said the Old Man, “Rabbits fear the eagle most of all. An eagle can mean the end of a rabbit. And so you must pray hard that the Eagle of Forgiveness will come and catch your Black Rabbit of Revenge. It will catch and eat him and the rabbit will trouble you no more. Your curse will be lifted.”

I gave a sigh of relief and stood up once more to leave. The Old Man spoke again and prevented my exit, “But be warned. As hard as this knowledge is to attain it is even harder to put into practice. You must pray for the Eagle of forgiveness, but even if he comes he may not catch the Black Rabbit of revenge first time. It may take years, but it is the only solution. Now go and think of all we’ve discussed. I have told you the truth, now is your choice to make.”

I turned and walked out of the now empty bar and went to my room. As I unlocked the door I saw the glow of dawn lighting my room. We had talked all night. The barman was right, the room caught the sunrise beautifully.