Harwood Special - Beautiful Mind: God & Difference

Cafe Sundae went on the road.

We took Cafe sundae to Harwood Methodist, Bolton and had a great time with the people there. Here is the blog we used for them, so they get a chance to comment. The keener-eyed of you may notice that this an old blog previously posted on our old blog site. Comment away!!

To paraphrase a café sundae meeting, one of the reasons I was asked to write a blog every month for the services is because I look at things differently to most people.  I think the phrase used was that I "approach things from a different angle." It was seen as a positive thing that my cock-eyed view could make a valuable contribution to what café sundae is trying to achieve.

But being that little bit different hasn't always been a positive thing.

I didn't really get on that well at school. The formal education system didn't agree with me and I don't think many teachers knew how to get the best out of me. It didn't help that the subjects that were offered to me to study didn't particularly interest me. I went to school in Harrogate, which everyone tells me is a lovely town. But it is a small town and a conservative town and the range of subjects offered at the schools there didn't extend much beyond maths, English, sciences and languages. One of the other secondary schools in the town offered PE as a GCSE subject and I was amazed when I found that out – although why anyone would want a GCSE in running round a muddy field in the rain whilst being shouted at by a thug with a qualification was beyond me. I didn't stand out at anything at school, I was – and still am - crap at sports and although I am intelligent I was in a class full of people cleverer than me who worked really hard. I just cruised through school doing just enough work to get passes in my subjects in order to keep off the teachers' radars as much as possible. I never really fitted in and I never really found out why.

I did have a good set of friends, although again because I was just that little bit different I stood out just enough to be the butt of people's jokes from time to time. A big bone of contention was my tastes in music. I remember my friends' tastes were always a couple of years behind mine. When I was 12 I discovered heavy metal – the heavier the better. I loved bands like slayer, gravedigger and venom along with iron maiden, motorhead and all the rest. My friends were still listening to pop and chart music and on certain occasions made their feelings on my tastes well known to me! A couple of years later they discovered heavy metal and I lent them lots the music I had collected, but my tastes had moved on and I was listening to Pink Floyd, Janis Joplin & Jimi Hendrix. Although they were happy to borrow albums from me they were also happy to express their disapproval at what I was then listening to. Again a couple of years after that they discovered Pink Floyd and the cycle continued.

It was once I left school that I began to find the things I could do well. I got involved in the local Youth for Christ centre and started playing in bands with other people and discovered that it was something I could do – both the playing bit and the messing around with PA's and recording bit. I even started attending bible studies and I discovered I was good at thinking – something I'd never even contemplated doing throughout my formal education – and fairly soon realised my opinions were valued, sometimes even sought after.

I slowly found my niche as I discovered my strengths. I realised that the things that made me different at school and had caused me difficulties were the things that I now enjoyed and I was good at. My idiosyncrasies are a fundamental part of who I am and what I do. Forward fast to today and these things that set me apart have become skills few people possess which keep me busy – sometimes too busy – providing services for people. I have made a career and a life out of my peculiarities. I'm not under any illusions, there were people at school who thought I was an idiot loser and there are people now that think the same, but I've found that my quirks are in demand; and I'm happy with that!

Now as I look back at my time at school I have the gift of hindsight. Sometimes when I was at school I used to try to fit in more, now I'm glad that I didn't. If I had the opportunity to do it all again would I do it differently? If I were going to be a responsible youth leader I'd say if I did it again I'd work harder and try to get better grades. But in truth I wouldn't. I would hate to have to do it again because I hated it first time round, but I wouldn't do it differently.  What I was then – with all its difficulties and awkwardness – has led to who I am now. Had I done things differently, had I compromised who I was in order to fit in more, had I tried to be popular I wouldn't be where I am now, I wouldn't have found these things I do that I enjoy and are in demand and I wouldn't be writing a blog every month for café Sundae.

It wasn't me: God & Blame.

Well, that’s it. After 2 years of writing this blog the inevitable has happened and I’m powerless to prevent it.

I’ve got writers block.

I’ve sat here and I’ve sat here and I’ve continued to sit here and I can’t think of a single thing to write. And when I’ve done that I’ve sat somewhere else and still nothing comes. I’ve been out for walks, done headstands, eaten fish, eggs, deep fried wichety grubs, and even shredded wheat and still not a single pertinent thought has entered my head. I’ve asked people what they think, read many internet articles and walked past the library several times and I can only conclude that you’re going to have to get on without a blog this month and hope my writers block clears before next month.

Please contain your disappointment. It’s really not my fault. I’ve done everything I can to resolve the situation, but it has occurred. I blame Will. He takes the minutes at our café sundae meetings, so it was him who minuted that we wouldn’t have a café sundae in April. That’s got me out of the routine of writing the blog, and now I can’t seem to get back into it.

Actually. Come to think of it Helen shares some responsibility for my lack of writing as well. Over our month off she’s made me enjoy myself and do fun stuff, which means I haven’t been thinking things through as much as usual and it seems I have difficulty turning my brain back on. And she’s washed my blog jumper.

Speaking of brains I blame Mr Tetley, Mr Theakston, and Mr Guinness. Over the last 20 years I have enjoyed their delicious brews on several occasions. They make them so moreish. But medical science suggests that over-indulgence in these fabulous fermented fluids can lead to destruction of brain cells, so if they had made their products less appetizing I’d still have more of my faculties and I wouldn’t have this writer’s block now.

And while we’re about it, it’s your fault too. All you who come to café sundae or read the blog online – and especially you who comment! You’ve told me how much you enjoy my prattlings and that has lead to pressure being put on me to up the ante every time. The pressure to keep the blogs at a high standard has surely lead to writers block with the fear that at sometime I won’t hit the mark.

So over the next weeks I’m going to try to search for a compensation lawyer that doesn’t make me dry heave too much and sue the pants off everyone who has contributed to my problem. It may seem quite extreme, but I think it’s for the best.

Even though I’m expecting a six-figure settlement I’m not doing it for the money, I’m doing it because I think you all need to realise what you’ve done to me, and if my problem is highlighted it may prevent it happening to someone else. I’ve thought about my course of action long and hard, and I believe it’s the only option open to me. I don’t want to be seen adding to the problems caused by our claims culture, but I have a more genuine case than a lot of those people who sue at the drop of a hat - all those smokers who sue the tobacco companies, or the obese people who sue fast food companies for example. And what about that bloke a couple of years ago who ran over a boy on his bike, then sued him for denting his BMW. People like that seem to be just out for what they can get for themselves ready to blame other people for their mistakes and offload their responsibility onto others regardless of the consequences for whoever they sue. A lot of people who sue don’t realise that they often make the problem worse – for example there has been a rise in the number of people suing their local councils when they’ve tripped on an uneven footpath. Do they not realise that when they receive a settlement it comes out of the council’s purse and then the council has less money to spend on improving the quality of footpaths?

I also think that people do genuinely have difficulty accepting that they have made mistakes. People’s egos don’t allow them to be anything but perfect, so any mistakes must therefore be someone else’s fault. Suing successfully proves they’re right, formalises the process of absolving themselves and keeps their self-image intact. It’s an attractive proposition. I’m positive I don’t fall into this trap as Helen is always pointing out my flaws so I know I’m not perfect.

What needs to happen is for people to take responsibility for their own actions and the consequences they bring about. To stop trying to use litigation to solve what they perceive as their problems. People need to work together in community rather than against each other. They need to stop looking only at number 1, and realise their place in a wider society in which everyone has needs and problems and only a finite amount of resources to go round. We need to work together to solve everyone’s problems, not against each other to sort out only our own.

And so to teach you this important lesson, you’ll be hearing from my solicitors very soon.