Strident Trident.

Originally published May 2007

I remember the day when I got my first electric guitar. I think I was about 14 or 15 and my Mum had got me a second hand strat copy from a local music shop. Except that being my Mum she had no intention of getting me an amp as well, but the guy in the music shop told her that I could plug into the mic input of my Dad's hi-fi as long as I kept the volume on the guitar very low. I only ever got to play music on my Dad's hi-fi when he was out, so I was really amazed when he said I could plug my guitar into it. I spent the evening trying to strum the few chords I knew and play 'smoke on the water' & 'House of the rising sun' but there was a problem. My guitar was picking up radio signals. I ignored it best I could but I felt really torn. The radio broadcast was of the US and USSR signing an agreement to scrap long-range nuclear missiles. I knew it was a historic day and I should take note of what was going on, but I wanted to play with my new toy.

The generations that grew up between the Second World War and the collapse of communism grew up with a constant threat of nuclear war. Incidents like the Bay of Pigs and the Cuban missile crisis heightened tensions between the Eastern Bloc and NATO and seemed to prove the need for countries to arm themselves with nuclear weapons to deter the possibility of a nuclear strike.It was against this climate that the original trident program was conceived to much controversy in the early 1980's. Now in 2007 the British Government has renewed the Trident missile system. More than 90 Labour MP's voted against this and the bill was only passed with support from Conservative MP's. There were also many campaigns against the renewing of Trident from various organisations and members of the public.

One of the reasons for opposing the renewal of Trident is that it seems to go against the nuclear non-proliferation treaties that were signed beginning with the one that was signed the day I got my first electric guitar. The powers that held nuclear weapons agreed to end the arms race and moderate the ownership of these weapons of mass destruction, now Britain has committed itself to buying more missiles.
But who now is the enemy? The Soviet Union no longer exists, the Russian Confederation is an ally and some of the former Soviet states are now members of the EU. Who are we considering might be such a threat that we feel we may still need to use a nuclear weapon? Such weapons are useless in the war against terror. The network of terrorists isn't based in one country or region. During the 2002 war in Afghanistan pictures were broadcast on the news of allied bomb strikes on al-Qaeda training camps. All they showed was multi-million pound bombs and missiles blowing up empty acres of sand. To use a nuclear missile against a target that has no territory necessitates blowing up a huge area of a third party's land. Holding such weapons gives us no advantage at all against enemies such as these.

Argument was also made that there would be economic hardship caused by not renewing Trident. Barrow in Cumbria – where the Trident submarines are made – is an area of economic hardship, and not to renew Trident would cause more unemployment and further poverty in a town already much in need of regeneration and investment. This has to be one of the most ridiculous arguments I heard for the renewal of trident as if it weren't renewed there would be a huge pot of money available to spend: more than enough to invest in Barrow and prevent the predicted social deprivation.

But is there an alternative to renewing Trident? I don't mean an alternative weapons system that would afford us the same level of 'protection'. I mean is there an alternative to spending such huge sums of money to prevent terrorism and other acts of aggression towards us? Is there a way that reflects Christian Love and Compassion, a way in which we can see God's reflection? I believe there is.

I think the West has to make big apologies to many other states and cultures and seek forgiveness for past aggression. We have a history of bludgeoning our way around the world and dominating and subjugating foreign places and this is what is now coming back to bite us. Our political leaders and Captains of Industry have invaded, oppressed and exploited all corners of the world and forced Western values as completely as we can. Our biggest success in this is the US. European 'settlers' took such control of a 'new' country at the expense of the Native American population to the extent that it is the settlers' descendants that are now running the US and the Native American population is almost off the radar.If we want to really protect ourselves and make the world a safer place then we need to listen to what other cultures are telling us and address their grievances. We need to actually make peace with nations rather than just make sure that we're stronger than them. We need to take real steps to end poverty and stop the exploitation that's carried out in our name. We need to judge ourselves, judge our history, then do what is right and do justice by all those we have previously aggrieved.

Politicians will never do this though. It is a long-term strategy and political parties only think as far as the next general election. They tell us that it would be too expensive. True it would cost a lot of money, but in the long term it would save billions of dollars currently being spent on weaponry and it would save countless lives in this country and across the world. Politicians will never do this because it is a much more difficult route than simply spending billions of pounds on a weapons system which a massive proportion of the electorate don't want.

Slavery.

Originally published in March 2007

Hot on the heels of the Big Brother racism row, channel 4 found itself mired in controversy again in January because of comments made by one of the contestants on it's 'shipwrecked' program. Lucy Buchanan (18) from Edinburgh caused over 500 complaints from viewers and forced Channel 4 to axe the repeat showing of the first episode of the series by saying that she supported slavery. "I'm for slavery," she said. "But that's never going to come back."

Several British newspapers picked up the story and the Commission for Racial Equality was "keeping shipwrecked under review." Lucy's own parents issued a statement to "Wholeheartedly apologise," for her remarks.

But as admirable the public outcry at such an outrageous statement is it has missed a vital point in the story. It is actually impossible to bring back slavery. There is a large amount of legislation across the international community and many UN conventions dealing with slavery in all its forms: but they're not what make it impossible to bring slavery back. It's impossible to bring slavery back because it's never gone away.

Although the slave trade was abolished 200 years ago people trafficking still continues. Somewhere around a million people are trafficked every year. 80% are women and girls, 50% are minors. Trafficking being illegal these people end up being sold into illegal industries; prostitution, forced labour, forced marriage or adoption, forced military service being some examples

But the main form of modern slavery is Bonded Slavery. This is where a person is tricked into taking out a loan when their only collateral is their labour. They are then forced to work until they pay the debt off, but the terms of repayment are harsh and the work is tough and often the debt is never repaid. Sometimes the debt is transferable down subsequent generations condemning children and grandchildren into a life of bonded slavery. It is reckoned that this form of slavery affects about 20 million people internationally.

Anti-slavery organisations reckon that there are around 27 million people in slavery around the world today. That's more than there was 200 years ago. At the height of the legal slave trade an average slave in the American South would have cost $40,000 in modern money; today a slave costs an average of just $90.
But how can this happen in the 21st Century? Why is this being allowed to continue? Firstly, because it's illegal. Long gone are the days when you could just turn up at Liverpool docks with a boat full of people in chains and manacles without attracting the attention of customs and excise. Likewise you can't set up a stall on Altrincham market (somewhere between the fishmongers and the watch battery stall) and sell children. Because buying and selling of people is illegal it has to happen secretively and the trade has been taken over by the criminal underworld. People trafficking is the most visible form of slavery – and that goes on largely un-noticed. Forced marriages & adoptions are difficult to prove, most slaves have been taken from the poorest strata of societies; some have been abducted but some sold by their families, some are runaways or street children, some families are tricked into giving children away. A large proportion of slaves are people that no one will miss, so who's going to raise the alarm?
Secondly you and I support slavery. Through a long complex history of economics and cultural development we have arrived at a situation where the western way of life depends on slavery. Very briefly we in the west demand lots of cheap goods from all over the world. Producers in the poorest countries of the world need to be able to compete with commodity prices set by the highly subsidised western industries and in order to be able to do this they need to cut labour costs as much as possible. Using slave labour is often the solution they employ.


200 years ago the Christian Church was at the forefront of the movement to abolish the slave trade. It's time we picked up the baton and fought for the rights of all those still held in the bondage of slavery. Our faith calls on us to be champions of the oppressed and to stand up against injustice. We need to be aware of what we buy and the effects it has on those who made it. Rather than not buying products we should try to ensure that they have been ethically produced. There are several schemes in place through different industries that give us that guarantee. We have to be prepared to pay slightly more for the goods we buy so that others don't have to pay a higher price for our comfort.

"I tell you the truth, whatever you did for the least of my brothers you did for me."

What's love got to do with it?

Origianally published in Feb 2007

Valentines day gets me to thinking about Human relationships and what they're all about. And it seems to me to be a very strange sphere of Human experience and one I don't fully understand. I don't understand why people are willing to become so involved with another person, as to do so guarantees that at some point you are going to get very hurt. People fall out and break each other's hearts, love turns to hate and people do all they can to cause as much damage as they can to those they once would have protected with their lives. People become incapacitated by injury or illness and their significant other's life is spent caring for them. If a couple has children there's even more scope for hurt: children are clumsy idiots who are always falling into lawn mowers or picking up all sorts of bad habits. Even if a couple were to have a successful marriage and perfect children the day will come when one of them will die and leave the other in grief and mourning. Sooner or later someone will get hurt. It would appear that the only way to avoid such pain in your life is to either abstain from getting involved with other people at all or make sure you die before your loved one(s).

It seems to me that the whole thing can be boiled down to a simple process. Next time you're getting your bra straps twanged or nursing an unwanted erection during a maths lesson just remember that it's all to do with the survival of the species. The logical conclusion to dating and courtship, marriage and family life is having children. And there's even more pain if a couple discovers that for whatever reason they can't have children. If you look round the animal kingdom you'll see that there are animals that have monogamous life long partnerships, but many more manage to procreate without such emotional attachments or high degree of social contact, so why do we willingly put ourselves through such hassle and torment if there's an alternative?

Is there an alternative? We need to continue to think in practical anthropological terms for the moment to prove the need for the emotions. When 2 people come together and form a partnership they gain strength from each other and are able to support each other through whatever life throws at them. This is a really important factor. If we look through the animal kingdom we see that most animals' parenting is done over a relatively short period – none at all in the case of most fish up to maybe a couple of years for some other animals. For us it's around 20 years before we reach adulthood and independence from our parents. The bringing up of children is a very demanding task and much easier for two parents. That's not to say that single parents don't make good parents, simply that it's never an easy option. Our children are so demanding on us that virtually alone in the animal kingdom we enlist the help of Grandparents to help us raise our offspring.

Extending our thoughts beyond the nuclear family we observe that we are a social animal. We make emotional bonds with many others outside our family. We have friendships, join clubs and have allegiances and loyalties. We love not just our life partner, but many people. We become bonded to many things – football teams, pubs, bands, charitable organisations and causes. These bonds make us want the best for whatever it is we're bonded to and other people involved with it and we alter different factors of our lifestyle for the mutual benefit of ourselves and our cause. Where our lives overlap with other people's lives and their lives overlap with others beyond our joint interest we create a whole network of friendships and a fellowship in which we all play a part and abide by (a bit like MySpace!).

And there we have a microcosm of society. The ripples of a community of people who out of regard for their fellows co-operate and respect each other's boundaries can echo outwards and be amplified many times over until we encapsulate the whole of humankind. On this large scale we can see where these bonds of love work and where they break down as well as the repercussions of both. Without making these bonds and living by them individually we would struggle and society would disintegrate into every man for himself.

So we can see that a healthy society is one where the bond of love between people is the governing factor. The more the rule of law has to be used to set boundaries and dictate morality the unhealthier that society is. It is up to us as individuals to decide our place in society – whether we respect or reject those around us.

This picture of society is a reflection of our interaction with God. Religion teaches us that God is Love. The bible says that, "We love because God first loved us," and that love has been demonstrated by the death and resurrection of Jesus. We need to decide if we believe that God is real and then make another decision; about what we do with that knowledge. We can ignore it and do our own thing; we can obey what we see as God's will because we think we have no choice or we can choose to willingly forge bonds and seek friendship with God.

So is this then a definition of love? An emotional bond between people voluntarily given which brings forth feelings of loyalty, protectiveness, passion, pleasure and general goodwill. Sometimes that love is reciprocated sometimes it is not. Sometimes that love is deserved, sometimes not.

What can we conclude about Love and the part it plays in Human life? We have to conclude that it is a totally normal and necessary experience. That we Humans need to forge deep emotional bonds with people close to us, and that to not do so makes us half a person. To find someone who becomes a life partner is a true blessing.

Find someone who has lost a partner and ask them a question. Ask them if they had the choice would they share again the time they had with their partner and go through the pain of loss, or not have the pain of loss but forfeit their relationship with their loved one.

Pass it on: God & Heritage

Pass it on: God & Heritage from Rob Bee on Vimeo.

So we come to the last blog I’m writing for Cafe Sundae. And it’s a good topic to end on. I am thinking about heritage and I have one word to say to you – floorboards. What do floorboards have to do with heritage? I’ll tell you shortly.
I think if you mentioned Christian Heritage or the heritage of the Church to most people they’d think about the fantastic buildings we have as cathedrals, or the many paintings or pieces of music that have been produced throughout 2000 years of Church History. And why not? They are a testament to how people’s faith has inspired and motivated them. They are arguably amongst the greatest and most beautiful things Humankind has produced and are quite rightly revered and preserved for future generations to enjoy. But that’s not the heritage I want to talk about, I want to talk about floorboards. And tattoos.

Let’s start with tattoos and hopefully you’ll begin to see what I want to put on the table for your consideration.
I don’t actually want to think about tattoos; just one particular one, and it’s one you can find on my left arm. Between my elbow and shoulder I have a large tattoo of a cross and around it are the words “I caught a fleeting glimpse out of the corner of my eye.” The words are actually taken from Pink Floyd’s ‘comfortably numb’, but coupled with the cross it provides a statement about my faith. It speaks to me of a God who is present and involved in our world and our lives, a God who reveals Himself to us in bite-sized pieces. So we catch our glimpse of God (spell it with a little g if you want to consider this from an agnostic/atheist standpoint) and we can choose to take our facet and talk with other people about their glimpses, and as we widen our conversation we put pieces together like a jigsaw and develop a picture of who God is (or what god is) and build a faith. My tattoo speaks to me of the importance of looking for God and sharing what we find with others.

Ok then, let’s think about floorboards and what they say to me about our heritage. Cafe Sundae has been held at Timperley Methodist Church. In 2004 the Church was refurbished. The pews that were previously in the Church were removed and replaced with the rows of chairs that we move every month to make way for Cafe Sundae. Before the new carpet could be laid the entire floor had new boards laid over the top of the old ones because of the state of the floorboards. The procession of people week after week shuffling into and out of the pews every Sunday, coming together to meet as believers, had worn grooves into the floor making a surface too undulating to lay a carpet on. 60 years of people shuffling down the pews to take their seats, 3 or 4 generations of believers who have come together to share time and their experiences, to build a bigger picture of God than they could do alone. Imagine how grooved the floorboards are in older churches. This is the heritage I want to consider; these 2000 years of feet shuffling through pews, generation meeting generation to build their jigsaw; discussing their fleeting glimpses, sharing their picture of God, creating a living moving, evolving faith.
And here we are at the end of the chain, the last links. It’s our job to make sure that we don’t remain that way, that the procession of feet continues to wear the floorboards. The heritage we have is an oral tradition - it’s true we have the Bible to look to, but without our chain-making the Bible simply becomes Aesop’s Fables. This then is what Cafe Sundae has been about. We’ve tried to pass on what we have seen of God, we’ve tried to find out who we are in God’s world. We’ve tried to share our fleeting glimpses and piece together what it means to be a Christian in the 21st century.

And as we 4 step back and go onto other things, we throw down the gauntlet to you. If you have gained anything from being a member of a Christian Community have you got anything you can pass on? Are you happy to be the last link in the chain, and if not how are you going to make sure that you aren’t?

Minted: God & Cash

Minted: God & Cash from Rob Bee on Vimeo.

I'm sure a lot of you will have noticed how much difference it makes to a child when they learn to read. It's incredible to see the change it makes; suddenly the world opens up to them. They learn more than just a new skill, they gain a massive amount of independence, and with that they get confidence and a whole new world opens up to them as these lines, dots and squiggles reveal their secrets. Previously they'd managed ok, with help from people around them who can read, but now when they don't need that help all sorts of possibilities reveal themselves and life takes on whole new dimensions.


I think that trying to live without money would be like that. It would be possible, but very, very difficult. You would have to rely a lot on other people. All sorts of doors would be closed to you and you would be cut off from a large part of life as you now know it. Money is a very necessary part of life and that is undeniable; but money also has a dark side.

People can get too attached to the idea of money. Whether they have any or not money can become the holy grail for people at the expense of other things – people will take higher paid jobs they know they will hate purely for the extra money, people can become selfish and greedy and can do the most dreadful things to other people in pursuit of an extra pound. People often say that money is the root of all evil, that is a mis-quote. They should say that love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, but that's not as snappy.


I have to say that the whole financial system leaves me with a mixture of feelings. Firstly boredom. I don't have an interest in the financial markets and only engage in that world out of necessity – mortgage, insurance, bank account etc. I strongly dislike the international monetary systems that prevail in keeping the rich rich to the cost of the majority of the world, which is kept in poverty by the decisions of a few men who control trade.

In 1998 the Governor of the band of England at the time – Sir Eddie George - said in a radio interview the high levels of unemployment in the North East was a price worth paying for low inflation across the country. Well, Mr George, try telling that to the hundreds of thousands of people who have lost their livelihoods, try telling that to the families who struggle to put food on the table. Try telling that to those who have lost their homes because they can't afford to pay their mortgages any more. I think his comment brings the crux of the problem to the fore. Money, surely, is supposed to serve man. Man isn't supposed to serve money, and yet here and in many other instances we are used as pawns of the financial markets. Real human lives are used to support and benefit an abstract concept, an unjust system, a folly.

It bugs me somewhat the gravitas that the financial news is reported with .At the moment the money markets are looking rather precarious and downturns in the economies of the west will have repercussions globally and will cost lives in the developing world. But the news is reported as if the events are unavoidable, like a natural disaster. Earthquakes, volcanoes and hurricanes are unavoidable catastrophes; financial market crashes are evidence that the system we have created doesn't work and we're not willing to fix it.
I don't understand how we can create and then continue to support a system in which everyone can lose. How come when there is stock markets crash millions of pounds/dollars/yen etc. can simply disappear? The money was there at the beginning of the day, where is it now?


Ok, I don't understand the financial markets, I don't like the way trade works and I want to see things done differently. What can I do about it? The political will to change the way things work simply doesn't exist, so there's very little I can practically do to change the big picture. But what I can do is be careful with my money. I have to use my money just like I'd like the financial institutions to use theirs. I have to do my best to make sure my money and spending doesn't adversely affect others. I need to think about the implications of my spending and avoid unethical spending. I need to use my consumer powers to demonstrate to the wider world where my priorities lie. With this issue more than to quote Mahatma Ghandi I need to, "Be the change you want to see in the world."

I don't believe it: God & God

I don't believe it: God & God from Rob Bee on Vimeo.

For those of you who haven't seen the Simpsons movie – WHERE'VE YOU BEEN! Very early on in the film Lisa meets a boy named Colin. He's Irish and the son of a musician ("He's not Bono.") and Lisa falls in love with him. When she gets home she excitedly tells Marge all about him whilst Marge is scrubbing pig footprints off the floor. "Oh wait. I didn't tell you the best part. He loves the environment. Oh wait. I still didn't tell you the best part – he's got an Irish brogue. No, no wait wait, I still didn't tell you the best part. HE"S NOT IMAGINARY!"

I've sat for ages thinking about how I can write a blog on God's existence and I've drawn a blank. It's impossible to either prove or disprove whether God exists or not as for every argument there is a counter argument. Look at any one of the many online forums about belief and you will find countless disagreements between atheists and believers who are all trying and failing to reason out their viewpoint, and it's the same old arguments going round and round and round. So all I can offer to this debate is my idea of who God is and hope that my experience makes you think.

I've never really doubted God's existence, but I am sometimes a reluctant believer. I do sometimes catch myself thinking how much easier life would be if I didn't believe in God; how much time I'd free up if I didn't have to do Church stuff or how little responsibility I'd have to take for my actions. When I was a teenager I had a revelation of God which caused me to stop ignoring my belief, but it had always been there. This was in a real way a 'conversion experience' and it turned me away from my agnostic apathy towards God and started me searching to find who and where he is.

When I was in my late teens and early 20s I used to attend a group for people my age and we'd discuss our Faith. We'd all come from the same Church background and when we began to discuss our ideas of who God is were pretty similar. But as time went on and we left school and got jobs our lives changed and our experience of God changed. Our ideas started differing with others when we discussed and we had some real disagreements. After each meeting those of us who were old enough went to the pub where we'd sometimes continue the debate or just chat. I realized over time that although our theologies now differed sometimes quite widely and we argued when we discussed it didn't affect our friendships and it didn't seem to affect the strength of our faiths. This got me to thinking about God and I concluded that God is bigger than our theological differences and can cope with them. So maybe it doesn't matter if I believe in – for example – creation or evolution. Maybe God isn't particularly interested in where we stand on divorce or predestination. He's simply interested in us.
And that's how I've approached my belief in God since then. I've tried to keep an open mind on what God is like and hear what other people have to say.


If you think about it, it makes sense that we believe different things about God. We all will have differing experiences of him. To my bosses at work I'm the reliable capable fountain of all knowledge; to my underling I'm the demanding line manager who keeps making him do his work again because it's not up to standard; to my parents I'm the Son they're very proud of but they still remember the times when I wet the bed, fell off my bike, threw temper tantrums in shops or hid under my bed after Dr Who because I was scared of Dalecs; to Helen I'm the useless husband who makes a mess, steals the duvet and can't do DIY for love or money. These people's opinions of me all differ because they come into contact with me in differing contexts, but I'm the same person. And as we all have our own personalities our own lives and our own needs the ways in which we come into contact with God is going to be different and we will all form different ideas about who he is; that doesn't make any of us right or wrong automatically, and everyone's experiences and opinions of God should be given a hearing. Just as someone may tell you something about me that you don't agree with ("Are you sure that was Rob? It doesn't sound like the Rob I know.") so we may disagree with someone else's opinion of God.

So who do I think God is? Here is the sum total of my belief, the essence of my search for God so far. All I've found can be summed up in this sentence. God is Love. I believe that God's Love is the creating power behind the universe, it's God's Love that binds the universe together, and provides all the resources we need to survive. It's God's love that keeps us searching for Him and he for us. It's the overriding factor to all of our lives. Many people's experiences of God are governed by strict rules and regulations governing how we act and who we are and come complete with a long list of 'thou shalt not's. But I believe that God filled the World with millions of possibilities for us to enjoy ourselves. I believe he wants us to live life as fully as we can, exploring the limits of our humanity and smile and laugh and enjoy ourselves as we do it. I believe God has a great sense of humour and wants us to use ours as we search for our place in the world and place in his Kingdom. God loves to see us happy and loves us to acknowledge Him in our happiness. God's Love is over all. This then is the acid test for any religion or believer: if they're not motivated by Love, they're not motivated by God.

Beautiful Mind – God and Difference

Beautiful Mind: God & difference from Rob Bee on Vimeo.

To paraphrase a café sundae meeting, one of the reasons I was asked to write a blog every month for the services is because I look at things differently to most people. I think the phrase used was that I "approach things from a different angle." It was seen as a positive thing that my cock-eyed view could make a valuable contribution to what café sundae is trying to achieve.

But being that little bit different hasn't always been a positive thing.

I didn't really get on that well at school. The formal education system didn't agree with me and I don't think many teachers knew how to get the best out of me. It didn't help that the subjects that were offered to me to study didn't particularly interest me. I went to school in Harrogate, which everyone tells me is a lovely town. But it is a small town and a conservative town and the range of subjects offered at the schools there didn't extend much beyond maths, English, sciences and languages. One of the other secondary schools in the town offered PE as a GCSE subject and I was amazed when I found that out – although why anyone would want a GCSE in running round a muddy field in the rain whilst being shouted at by a gorilla in a tracksuit was beyond me. I didn't stand out at anything at school, I was – and still am - crap at sports and although I am intelligent I was in a class full of people cleverer than me who worked really hard. I just cruised through school doing just enough work to get passes in my subjects in order to keep off the teachers' radars as much as possible. I never really fitted in and I never really found out why.

I did have a good set of friends, although again because I was just that little bit different I stood out just enough to be the butt of people's jokes from time to time. A big bone of contention was my tastes in music. I remember my friends' tastes were always a couple of years behind mine. When I was 12 I discovered heavy metal – the heavier the better. I loved bands like slayer, gravedigger and venom along with iron maiden, motorhead and all the rest. My friends were still listening to pop and chart music and on certain occasions made their feelings on my tastes well known to me! A couple of years later they discovered heavy metal and I lent them lots the music I had collected, but my tastes had moved on and I was listening to Pink Floyd, Janis Joplin & Jimi Hendrix. Although they were happy to borrow albums from me they were also happy to express their disapproval at what I was then listening to. Again a couple of years after that they discovered Pink Floyd and the cycle continued.

It was once I left school that I began to find the things I could do well. I got involved in the local Youth for Christ centre and started playing in bands with other people and discovered that it was something I could do – both the playing bit and the messing around with PA's and recording bit. I even started attending bible studies and I discovered I was good at thinking – something I'd never even contemplated doing throughout my formal education – and fairly soon realised my opinions were valued, sometimes even sought after.

I slowly found my niche as I discovered my strengths. I realised that the things that made me different at school and had caused me difficulties were the things that I now enjoyed and I was good at. My idiosyncrasies are a fundamental part of who I am and what I do. Forward fast to today and these things that set me apart have become skills few people possess which keep me busy – sometimes too busy – providing services for people. I have made a career and a life out of my peculiarities. I'm not under any illusions, there were people at school who thought I was an idiot loser and there are people now that think the same, but I've found that my quirks are in demand; and I'm happy with that!

Now as I look back at my time at school I have the gift of hindsight. Sometimes when I was at school I used to try to fit in more, now I'm glad that I didn't. If I had the opportunity to do it all again would I do it differently? If I were going to be a responsible youth leader I'd say if I did it again I'd work harder and try to get better grades. But in truth I wouldn't. I would hate to have to do it again because I hated it first time round, but I wouldn't do it differently. What I was then – with all its difficulties and awkwardness – has led to who I am now. Had I done things differently, had I compromised who I was in order to fit in more, had I tried to be popular I wouldn't be where I am now, I wouldn't have found these things I do that I enjoy and are in demand and I wouldn't be writing a blog every month for café Sundae.